I thought it was funny that she started the conversation and she ended it.Usually, ending a conversation would be kind of like a mutual thing, but oh wells, I guess she had nothing to say to me– maybe it was my fault.
Aubrey is from Lakewood, CA. She is Phillipino and a Sophmore and her major is also in Pre-Nursing. Originally, she wanted to be a Doctor, but she wanted some experience and wanted to save up money to go back to school to become a Doctor.She didn’t want to be in school forever, so I don’t know why she is going back to school. She wants to be a Pediatrician or a Cardiologist– she loves kids and because her Grandpa and his siblings all have died from heart problems(I felt sad knowing that, but I was thankful that she told me). She has younger siblings– one is 18 and the other is 13.
Aubrey loves music. We have a lot in common such as Pre-Nursing and having experience in music, but we are different. She has a great passion playing the flute, she participated in Concert Band and loved traveling for 4 years with her classmates to play music. I was in music, but I didn’t enjoy traveling and playing music, because I didn’t like the music sometimes– I felt like I prefer playing music by myself. She almost majored in music because she had such an amazing music teacher. My music teacher seemed to care more about becoming friends with classmates, rather than being a teacher– so I ended up not liking him that much.
Aubrey asked me to tell her something random about myself. I feel that that question was unordinary because I never thought about it. I feel like nothing is random– everything seems pretty normal to me. That was the most difficult question I have ever been asked– seriously. Her random thing that people rarely knows is that she loves ziplining. After the random question, she just said “Okay, I guess that is it…Bye!”
Man…I hate how society makes me feel shame towards myself, but I really don’t feel ashamed of myself. Maybe she thought I was a little intimidating. I can see how she tries to talk to me and giving me eye-contact. She is very friendly and outgoing– she has this bright aura surrounding her. I felt the complete opposite. I felt such a downer because I wasn’t smiling like her and I talked in a “whatever-kind-of-voice” but that isn’t how I felt…ish. I am not that mean. That is how I am when I am neutral– not happy or irritated. She was the first that makes me feel like that in CSULB, so I guess she should feel special. It is not that I am avoiding a conversation with her, but I just felt neutral… She seemed like she wanted to meet new friends, but I felt different, so I couldn’t say anything uplifting to her. Plus, I told her depressing stuff like how my parents escaped the Vietnam War, and how the U.S. government is friggin messed up and all. I don’t know…
It was kind of nice to experience that feeling because that feeling of shaming myself makes me think and I love thinking. I constantly think to myself.